When you're at the bottom, theres no other way but to go up...
A new and fresh start... that is what I aspire. I've been contemplating lately, sleepless nights. I've been asking myself questions, recollecting past events seeing things in a different perspective. Just this instance it hit me… I realized that I'd have to make my ideas, thoughts and dreams into something tangible. The world would not stop and wait for me... Moping around won’t do me good! And I quote from Oprah “Don’t waste the pretty!” that would be my new mantra. I’d like to share the lyrics of Fallen by Sarah McLachlan definitely a song that could relate to my present situation.
Heaven bend to take my hand And lead me through the fire Be the long awaited answer To a long and painful fight Truth be told I tried my best But somewhere along the way I got caught up in all there was to offer And the cost was so much more than I could bear
Though I've tried I've fallen I have sunk so low I've messed up Better I should know So don't come round here and Tell me I told you so
We all begin with good intent When love was raw and young We believe that we can change ourselves The past can be undone But we carry on our back the burden time always reveals In the lonely light of morning In the wound that would not heal It's the bitter taste of losing everything I've held so dear
I have a typical first name and that is Kristina. It could be spelled-out in different ways (Cristina, Christina, Xtina and what have you) but nevertheless it still sounds the same. For the last 2 decades of my existence, my name has evolved from Maria, tin-tin, Kristina, Kristeta, tina, tins and in an effort to be unique I finally chose a hyphenated name now I am t-na.
Mood Swings
Confessions
I always said the right things, throwing smiles left and right, ignoring "unpleasant" scenarios pretend that it didn't happen. I found it difficult to say NO, even though I really don't want to do it. To top it off, I always believed that "If I could just be nice to other people, maybe they will also be nice to me in return". Now, realizing that all of that crap I thought of is just full of shit since a lot of people took advantage of my disposition. Some of them even recognized that I was gullible and naive but instead of correcting me, they completely did the opposite. I've treasured momments of reflection and meditation, the healing of wounds. One day I'll face and conquer my demons...
Post a Comment