I don't know how to start this entry but here goes nothing.
17th May 2007 Thursday
At home, we were all busy cleaning the house in preparation for Papas' arrival. I was taking a short PSP break when I heard the phone rang. I went outside my room to pick up the phone, I looked around only to see my Tita crying. She was talking in Ilonggo and was on her mobile phone. I instantly froze and knew that something was wrong. Trying to prepare myself, faces of people dearest to me flashed in my head. I knew that once I pick up the phone I'd soon find out what I feared to be unfortunate news.
I answered the phone and my cousin was on the other line, she was crying aloud "Pataynasi Tito Ernie, nabaril!"
My uncle was shot three times in the chest by a retired military man. There is an existing gun ban due to the elections here in the Philippines, I hope they take note of that. The case is on going so I think that I can't discuss the details. I never imagined that this would happen to our family.
I have a typical first name and that is Kristina. It could be spelled-out in different ways (Cristina, Christina, Xtina and what have you) but nevertheless it still sounds the same. For the last 2 decades of my existence, my name has evolved from Maria, tin-tin, Kristina, Kristeta, tina, tins and in an effort to be unique I finally chose a hyphenated name now I am t-na.
Mood Swings
Confessions
I always said the right things, throwing smiles left and right, ignoring "unpleasant" scenarios pretend that it didn't happen. I found it difficult to say NO, even though I really don't want to do it. To top it off, I always believed that "If I could just be nice to other people, maybe they will also be nice to me in return". Now, realizing that all of that crap I thought of is just full of shit since a lot of people took advantage of my disposition. Some of them even recognized that I was gullible and naive but instead of correcting me, they completely did the opposite. I've treasured momments of reflection and meditation, the healing of wounds. One day I'll face and conquer my demons...
Post a Comment