With the recent unfortunate death of my Uncle, Lola is staying here with us so that we can closely keep an eye on her. Last week, she had a slight memory lapse when my Mom and Tita disclosed the "real" reason why we invited her here in Manila. We were encouraged to control our tears whenever Lola was around, she's quite delicate at the age of 82.
May kurot sa puso na hindi matanggal tanggal, lalo na kapag nakikita ko ang mga ngiti ng aking Tito sa mga larawang naiwan niya. Hindi mabura sa aking isipan ang mga kamay nang aking Tito habang siya ay na hihimlay sa kanya kabaong. Napakasipag ng Tito ko na ito, bakas sa kanya mga palad at daliri ang mga dumikit na mga kemikal sa paggawa ng capis. Hindi niya nakakalimutan tumulong sa iba basta kaya niya. Magaling siyang makisama, na saksihan ko ito sa mga dumalo sa kanya burol. Ang mga trabahador niya, kapitbahay ay na kikiisa sa aming pagluluksa. Maraming mga "sana" na aking naiisip ngunit alam ko naman na walang idudulot ang mga "sana". Ang "ngayon" ang mas importante.
I have a typical first name and that is Kristina. It could be spelled-out in different ways (Cristina, Christina, Xtina and what have you) but nevertheless it still sounds the same. For the last 2 decades of my existence, my name has evolved from Maria, tin-tin, Kristina, Kristeta, tina, tins and in an effort to be unique I finally chose a hyphenated name now I am t-na.
Mood Swings
Confessions
I always said the right things, throwing smiles left and right, ignoring "unpleasant" scenarios pretend that it didn't happen. I found it difficult to say NO, even though I really don't want to do it. To top it off, I always believed that "If I could just be nice to other people, maybe they will also be nice to me in return". Now, realizing that all of that crap I thought of is just full of shit since a lot of people took advantage of my disposition. Some of them even recognized that I was gullible and naive but instead of correcting me, they completely did the opposite. I've treasured momments of reflection and meditation, the healing of wounds. One day I'll face and conquer my demons...
t-na @ 10:52 PM|
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