Yesterday, our whole family has experienced a great lost, our beloved Tita Ding passed away.
At around 9pm, we received a phone call from my cousin and niece asking us for help. I woke up to the sound of people rushing as Mama and JP left the house to go to my Tita's house. I texted my mom and brother"kamusta na si tita? thinking that they would text me the hospital where my tita would be confined but to no avail I received no reply. A few hours has passed I was getting worried that they have not repleied to my messages.
I didn't notice that mama was already home until she checked our room. She left abruptly without answering my question. I asked my sister to ask mama where tita was, how is she and my mom replied Holy Trinity. I stood still as I enumertated the nearby hospitals in my head, "where is Holy Trinity Hospital?" The only Holy Trinity I knew was a funeral home. I thought that there maybe a Holy Trinity Hospital or Clinic that existed and I just didn't know about it.
I dashed out o my room to follow mama and be reaffirmed of what I thought. I asked mama "San na ka confine si Tita?" She embraced me tight kissed my cheek and whispered softly "Wala na si Tita Ding mo" I never expected the answer to my queries to be the most heart breaking words I ever heard in my entire life.
By the time my mom and brother got there Lifeline was about to revive her but she did not make it.
I have a typical first name and that is Kristina. It could be spelled-out in different ways (Cristina, Christina, Xtina and what have you) but nevertheless it still sounds the same. For the last 2 decades of my existence, my name has evolved from Maria, tin-tin, Kristina, Kristeta, tina, tins and in an effort to be unique I finally chose a hyphenated name now I am t-na.
Mood Swings
Confessions
I always said the right things, throwing smiles left and right, ignoring "unpleasant" scenarios pretend that it didn't happen. I found it difficult to say NO, even though I really don't want to do it. To top it off, I always believed that "If I could just be nice to other people, maybe they will also be nice to me in return". Now, realizing that all of that crap I thought of is just full of shit since a lot of people took advantage of my disposition. Some of them even recognized that I was gullible and naive but instead of correcting me, they completely did the opposite. I've treasured momments of reflection and meditation, the healing of wounds. One day I'll face and conquer my demons...
t-na @ 11:11 PM|
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