It's been a real long time. A lot of things happened since my last post.
Primarily events about death. My Lola Puri and my cousin Kuya Idol passed last May 2009. My Lola who suffered from a kidney failure, died second week of May. My 29 year old cousin who also attended the wake at our province died, from cardiac arrest while he was asleep, just a few days before we closed the month of May. And we were still coping with our loss, Tita Ding who passed November of last year.
Aside from sudden episodes of sadness which leads to crying, I would wake up everyday in fear of hearing another bad news.
Despite of the sad episodes our family has encountered, I do try to still look at the brighter side of life. It has made our family a much tighter knit. Take each event as a learning experience and as a constant reminder that life is more valuable.
I have a typical first name and that is Kristina. It could be spelled-out in different ways (Cristina, Christina, Xtina and what have you) but nevertheless it still sounds the same. For the last 2 decades of my existence, my name has evolved from Maria, tin-tin, Kristina, Kristeta, tina, tins and in an effort to be unique I finally chose a hyphenated name now I am t-na.
Mood Swings
Confessions
I always said the right things, throwing smiles left and right, ignoring "unpleasant" scenarios pretend that it didn't happen. I found it difficult to say NO, even though I really don't want to do it. To top it off, I always believed that "If I could just be nice to other people, maybe they will also be nice to me in return". Now, realizing that all of that crap I thought of is just full of shit since a lot of people took advantage of my disposition. Some of them even recognized that I was gullible and naive but instead of correcting me, they completely did the opposite. I've treasured momments of reflection and meditation, the healing of wounds. One day I'll face and conquer my demons...
t-na @ 11:20 PM|
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